BLOG - My Mental Health, and that One Word . . .
May 07, 2019This article (https://bit.ly/2VkuPoN) by Lindsay Holmes in HuffPoLife resonates with me very much. I remember when I first started to talk about my depression and anxiety to other people. Just like Lindsay, I too was met with this one word a lot. The word is, "Just.”
“Just” . . . it seems like a harmless word; right? But, it was very damaging to me - even from well meaning and loving friends and family. I know that their words were meant to be encouragement, but each one felt like a little stab into my ego, into my soul even.
"Why don’t you just [insert verb here],” Dallas . . . ?"
"They're right," I told myself, "Why am I so weak? Why can't I just pull up my bootstraps, make myself do the work, simply 'WILL'power myself?" And then, I'd lay back down, crippled by those damaging thoughts.
I would lie there, lying to myself about who I was. Believing I was weak because I couldn't "just" do, couldn't "just" exercise, couldn't "just" eat better, couldn't "just" pray it away, couldn't "just" get over it . . . I "just" couldn’t.
The truth is, my friend, it takes time. First, it simply takes time to believe again. It takes time to do again. It takes time to make the small, simple steps. Time to build positive behaviors. Time to establish powerful, transformative habits.
That is how I created the 4-Is for myself. If you’ve listened to my podcast or heard me speak, you’ll know that I don’t go very long without talking about the 4-Is framework I had to create for myself. The 4-Is are this: Insight, Imagination, Intention, and Impact. And every single day, I work to increase in those 4-Is. And at the end of each episode of the podcast or each of my videos, I pray for you too. I pray that you would increase in your 4-Is each and every day.
My prayer for you always goes something like this: may you increase in your Insight, that is your revelation and knowledge each day. May you increase in your Imagination of who you are and what is possible for you. May you increase in your Intention today. That is, to say, may your Will align with your Actions. And, may you increase in your positive Impact in the lives of those around you.
I have discovered, if I focus on growing in those key 4 areas of increase, then every other action I take moves me in a more positive direction.
And, over time, I have changed.
I am a man becoming. Becoming more than I was a few years ago, becoming more than I am today, and even becoming more than I actually think I can be tomorrow. I’m not the same person I was 5 years ago, 2 years ago, even 6 months ago. My spirals now - while still exhausting - don’t take me down and out for weeks now. They don’t usually even take me out for multiple days anymore. I’ve gotten to the point where I’m able to process through things more quickly. I’m able to identify my triggers, acknowledge my self-limiting beliefs, shift into a positive replacement behaviors, and transform my thinking much more quickly.
Just last night, a situation occurred that would have taken me out for days. My wife looked at me later and said, “Are you spiraling because of that?” I was able to say to her, “No. I’m spinning, not spiraling.” Meaning the wheels in my head were spinning as to how to fix the situation, but my thoughts weren’t spiraling. They wanted to. Believe me, my self-limiting beliefs and my anxiety were wanting to huff and puff and blow the house down. But, I’ve been laying brick after brick for years now, and it takes a lot more to let that thing in . . . not even by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin. (yes, I just referenced that children’s story).
I believe that this same framework can transform you over time too. I know it’s hard to “just” do. I know you may feel like you are in a place where it’s crippling, where it’s frustrating, where it seems hopeless. I want you to know that - it’s okay to feel that way. I honor you for even taking the time to read this today. Do you know why? Because it means that if you’re reading all the way down to here, it means that you believe - somewhere deep inside yourself - that you can still transform your thinking. You believe - even if it’s just a seed of an idea right now - you still have that hope that you can defeat this mental health crap that has been sidelining you and hurting you for years and years. You have hope. And that, my friend, may be the greatest Insight you can have today. You have hope. Somewhere, deep inside you, you believe. I’m proud of you for that. I honor you for that. Now, take a moment to increase in the rest of your 4-Is right now.
#1) Insight = today, you realize that there is hope.
#2) Imagination = imagination how that hope can grow in you over time.
#3) Intention = how can that hope fuel you today to do one positive behavior?
#4) Impact = how can that hope influence others around you in a positive way?
Congratulations, my friend. Today, you increased in your 4-Is.
Have a championship day!
--
Dallas
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